My recent psychological adventure

15 May

I’m not sure if I’d written this here before, but my mental biorhythm pattern in the past couple of years has been to have a very low-tuned first half a year, and then uprising second half a year. It has been more dramatic in the recent years, and while I had accepted it as something unavoidable, it was also pretty drowning to go through such a depressive first half a year, and had wished to get out of it.

When I went back to Japan in the second half of March, I was made to realise how lonely I was feeling in India. Inevitable, I guess. Where families consist so much the core of the society, however close you become to people, the level of integrity you get has limitation. Well, about this, actually now I have people I feel more close to, those who don’t make me feel so detached. So it’s okay.

But the general stress you receive here is much higher than anywhere I was used to. So, that and the other factor, plus the fact that I am working in a company stroke me all together. That is how I got so worn out. And I realised the degree I was depressed only when I got back to Japan. Is it not an irony? I never had thought Japan to be a place of relief.

Anyway, the point is- after two weeks in Japan, I made up my mind to resolve this situation. That is to face all the traumas and problems my mental body has, and somehow overcome, get rid of and cure them. I wanted to become a better being. So I did.

I
t was a month process. I should have kept record here too, now I don’t remember so much. The two major points were when I encountered a masculine person in myself- who hated me! – and when I realised that I had wanted to become somebody else. I won’t go into details, it will bore you, and I am writing this just to update me to some of my close friends. You just need to know that I have overcome something very big; and that now I am bright and powerful again.

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…Thank you for the birthday wishes, by the way.

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