Back to my colours

A mail from a good friend has inspired me to write, after a while. Well actually, about a month ago I wrote a few poems… and was going to make that my come back to this blog, but somehow it did not happen. Why? I don’t know. But the poems are in my notebook, so I shall at some point post them here, unless I turn to hate them!

However, I am not quite in the mood for poetry. I love to read, but not to produce… at the moment, anyway. I guess you would know how you can only wait for poetry to come, and when you force it to come and try drag them in front of you… they get torn and ugly, much better to let them melt into the wind…….

Goodness, I have adopted this “………” habit of Indians! I didn’t particularly like it, but it must have suited me somehow. Now I use it so much. I try not to, here. I am trying.

The past month was like, reviving. Rejuvenating. I wonder what you think of homeopathy. What I can tell you is that it worked for me. The skin problem that made me suffer so much for the past couple of monthes is almost gone. And then, psychologically too, I came back to myself. I was so down and exhausted. Not any more.

Some people who know me from last year told me, that I was like a different person. I cannot help but to agree. I was so lost. I could not even draw or paint. I was always singing, but even so my body was always dragged and heavy. My health condintion was never good.

Now the whole situation is different. I am full of energy, and even go to music class early in the morning twice a week… leaving home around 5.30am. Tell this to me a few months back, I wouldn’t have believed. There was no way I could squeeze out that energy. Is this not amazing!

I won’t write too much. I don’t want to make this blog too… raw. I mean, I want to keep this a blog for poetry, even when I write these essay-types. But this is so that you know I am coming back. Coming back to who I am. I am regaining my colour.

*

Once, the colours would eat me.
That’s why I couldn’t wear you;
I had to take refuge to whites and pastels.
But now I’m back, and the colours
only share with me the power and spirit
to make me shine, their reflections going through my being
and again going back to the air, to the sunlight,
and then to the hydrogens that permeate everything.

*

(c)Tomomi 2012